Life Lesson from an Unlikely Source

One simple yet complex and hilarious journey thru life. I may not always be nice but I am embracing who I am.

A Different Christmas Poem. December 23, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — heatherfank @ 3:30 pm

A friend K (a very strong woman herself) Posted this today on FB.

I thought with the spirit of the season I should share.

I’ll admit I cried.

(I do not know it’s original source.)

 

The Elf On The F’in Shelf. December 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — heatherfank @ 12:57 am

Ok I know everyone has an Elf.  I do not mean to offend anyone but as this is my blog I have to say how I feel.

The Elf is Creepy. I  do not find him cute.

He is a Creepy, Face Frozen Stalker.

Now I will be the first to admit that maybe if I had small people, I would own and appreciate this Elf shelf character.

I don’t think telling the hubby that the elf is watching is going to help me get any house stuff done.  He would honestly break said elf.

I am also lazy and know I would forget to move it and then feel terrible.  Why would I want to subject myself to such things!

Ok quite possibly my annoyance MAY be fueled by the Elf On A Shelf special that was on TV last week.

I Dvred it so I could learn about said Elf.  I was 100% HONESTLY curious.

So L and I started to watch it.  I noticed at the beginning credits it mentioned something about a 3D company.  Now if you know me in person you will know I REFUSE to go to 3D movies.  I am way too jumpy and I also get motion sick so it’s just not a good combo.   From the get go we thought the color was extremely bold and bright.  WAY MORE than normal.  Now I have an HDTV and all that jazz, but I have never seen anything pop so much.  Then while watching the first 10-15 minutes everything looked off.  Or a bit too out of joint. We came to the conclusion that it was created for 3D thus creating this weird effect when viewed in 2D.   It was almost dizzying trying to watch it like this and we gave up.  Honestly I am pretty sure L was happy as I was forcing this learning experience on her in the first place.

Now we all know I get annoyed easily.  All I wanted to do was learn about this Elf people were posting about.  Now I was nauseous from the special I was trying to watch to try to learn about this creepy plastic Elf that I am sure is going to kill me in my sleep. So now I am just dizzy and frustrated, all over this Elf.  I actually thought all this last year when I first caught sight of him but I think I hoped he was a passing fad.

Couldn’t they have made him cuter. or fuzzier or something????

I will say this. I dislike the Elf as you can all read.      BUT ……….

I have a friend from college  CeCe. (as she shall be called)

CeCe is AMAZING with the Elf.    She creates all of these really cool places for the Elf to hide.  I mean hard-core.   The Elf on a zip line to rescue Barbie.   The Elf Waiting for Batman to rescue him.  The Elf drag racing with Disney Princesses.   It goes on and on.  This friend is a Mom, Teacher and Student who is beyond busy.    I so ADMIRE her creativity.  To love your kids so much to create this magical memory for them is truly something to aspire to.   I find myself actually looking forward to where she hides said Elf next.

I know, I know I make no sense.  Possibly it’s because I like said friend or because her Elf is so creative. I AM SO CONFUSED!!  ;);)

Honestly I am annoyed by the Elf Shelf thing.

I want to take the Elf and make him do adult things and have a 12 days of BAD ELF calendar. (Steal my idea and I’ll come after you!!)   Get your minds out of the gutter people btw!!

Here is what I do know.

I will sleep soundly tonight knowing there is no Plastic, Chester like Elf watching me sleep.

That is all.  ❤

hmmmmmmm..   on that note I have to go move the nutcracker so L wakes up with it staring at her….. (i will lock myself in a room after i do this for my safety 😉

 

Holiday Merriment, A Little Bit of Scrooge Mc Duck and Simply A Reason to Eat Cookies. December 16, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — heatherfank @ 11:52 pm

I think It all started when J didn’t want to put the tree up before he went back to the field. He just wanted to relax.   Well he needed it and all but now its Dec 10 and I am still treeless and not in the spirit.  I am sure he will love the spirited greeting he gets this week which includes a hug and a giant box with a tree in it.  J’s own  Honey – Do list.  As In Honey put this tree up right F’in now!! 😉  All joking aside I was really sad when he didn’t want to do it before he went back out.  he was gone last Christmas and I just never put one up. Did not feel the need to as I was traveling Christmas week.

Well this year I want one.  Times are tough for everyone these days and i think a sparkly tree will cheer me up.

I have finished my shopping and my loved ones are getting some fantastic gifts!!  They are wrapped and I am as excited to give (maybe more actually) then to receive.

As I continue this post Dec 16. The tree is now up.  There was a lot of swearing during its assembly. Fuck this , fucking tree, and so on.    The F word became a noun, verb, adjective and adverb.  J was not happy. His grumpiness sort of destroyed my tree decorating buzz.

We did make L crazy with our bickering which led to her hiding in her room (guest room).  Our solution was to wrap J up in garland and send him down the hallway screaming HELP ME!!!! Our ridiculousness makes anyone laugh.

Now onto the Scrooge part.

I was called Scrooge when my friend L and I were discussing that you can see my neighbors holiday lights from space.  Seriously.  We actually tried to pull it up on google earth but the photos are WAY old.  I was bummed I wanted to share the insanity with all of you.

Honestly I am a white light person.  My tree could be refered to as a show tree. I can’t help it. I am how I am.

Someday when we have kids there will be 2 trees a fun tree and a DONT TOUCH MY TREE, tree.  OCD at its best.

I enjoy holiday lights, trees etc but there is such a thing as an edit button.

Your roof, garden, garage are all lined with lights. You the run them side to side over the face of your home. Then they blink randomly. 3 huge blowup things with spotlights.  It is a wall of lights. I am glad my windows face the other side.

We have another neighbor who has lined their fence top to bottom with lights and put out a sign that is maybe 12×6 (that’s a guess on the small side)  Put up a huge tree and lined their house with lights.   These lights shine into the bedrooms of several small children.  They also NEVER turn them off!!

I love my neighbor who has a blow up of a penguin riding a walrus.  In fact I think I shall stealth to get a photo-op tomorrow.

I love the simple lights a pretty tree. But honestly when you decorate to excess it takes away from everyone else in the neighborhood.

I have some neighbors who beautifully decorated their houses but you would never notice them behind the blinking glare of the few that have gone beyond Griswald style.

So hate me if you wish. call me a Grinch. I’m not. I like simple can’t blame me for that. I also like not getting a migraine when I pull in my driveway. (wish I was joking.)

As for the cookies, this is truly the one time of year when you can eat and munch and not feel completely guilty about it as everyone else is doing the same.

I struggle with weight this is no secret.  The almost 5 weeks of bed rest recently packed 8 of the lbs I had lost back on.  I can’t lie I am frustrated. BUT…….  Being that I am not going to spontaneously lose these 8 pounds in the next 2 weeks. I shall enjoy the holidays. The fact that J is actually here this year and not cry about the smore I just ate at 11:45 pm.  there is plenty of time next year for that.

** before you call me a grinch we actually have 2 trees up.  we put up a charlie brown tree in L’s room just for her. so ;)~

 

 

Old. December 4, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — heatherfank @ 5:26 am

Tonight I realized that it’s just a fact I am getting older.   I am WAY closer to 40 than I ever imagined I would be.

Maybe this is all compounded by my recent ectopic pregnancy / miscarriage.  (I’ll blog about that another day.)

I don’t know what has come over me tonight but I am realizing how short and fragile life is.

Hopefully I will be pregnant before J deploys. I think that would reset this funk I have fallen into.

So bear with me friends. I have some sad stories and some funny ones in the chute.  Maybe blogging them will help me find myself again.

I just feel lost and confused.   I was recently hurt by a friend, (emotionally).  I think this has made me close off a bit.  I know some people are wondering why but I know my true friends understand what is going on and have been there no matter what.

I have lost my faith in people a bit so any advice on how to work that out would be appreciated. 🙂

 

I promise a funny post this week!! ❤

 

Summer Reading List 2011 July 11, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — heatherfank @ 2:43 am

Ok so I have been back into reading lately and LOVING my kindle (thanks D.)

I frequently see people asking what to read or talking about what they just read, or asking for suggestions.

I thought I would start an open blog about it. PLEASE PLEASE comment and share what books you are reading and loving, or hating and why :):)

The Hunger Games Series;    4.5*   great beach / pool reading

I started reading the first book after hearing all the ruckus the movie and all the people who have signed onto it.   I am one of those read the books first people. (Makes my bestie crazy. as it takes awhile to see some movies)    I read all 3 books in the series in 2.5 weeks.  I could not put them down. Written from the vantage point of a 14-17 year old girl it makes it a fast read.  Unlink some books like this I did not feel like I was reading a teenage novella but a dark and intriguing book.  Suzanne Collins ends the first 2 books leading into the next and I was SOOOOOO happy I could instantly download the next one.    

Bossy Pants – Tina Fey.  5*  bring a tissue for tears of laughter and expect people to look at you laughing out loud in the Dr’s waiting room.

I LOVE HER.  I got to be in the audience when she was on Craig Ferguson. Crazy fun day.   I read this one in a week as well.  She writes it as an autobiography but more in story format. You never get stuck in any time frame.  She is witty and tells it like it is.  You almost feel like your her friend while reading it.   If you are a SNL fan or 30 rock you will leave this book with insight and find yourself saying ahhhhh I get it.  Pick it up. Totally worth it.

Dexter is Delicious – John Lindsay 5*  im obsessed with all things Dexter

Dexter was a series of books BEFORE it was a show.  I love the show and watch it religiously.  Delicious is the newest book. There are 4 (I think) start at the beginning.   You do have to be able so separate the TV show from the books. The first one is what the series is based on and matched quite well.  The next books the plot lines are very different.  Different but amazing.  The suspense is still amazing and it’s quite the page turner.  If you love Dex it’s a great way to get a fix in the off-season.

Alex Cross Series – James Patterson  5*

From along came a spider to Cross country Patterson keeps Alex Cross going strong. Patterson   has a few other and books but Alex is my favorite.  Start at the beginning and don’t cheat and watch the movies!@!

Whats next…..

Before I go to Sleep – EJ Watson     3.75*  I am not finished yet so I can’t give a full rating.

I bout this for my kindle after it was on the top seller list last month.  I am finding it really interesting. A woman has an accident at 29 and loser her memory waking up everyday as its new. not knowing her age where she is.  She can only go off what her husband tells her, or her therapist she sees without him knowing.

The book took a good twist today and I’m lookng forward to seeing what happens.

 

What I should read

The help –

My Mom downloaded it to my kindle last August.  I have never got around to it even after her rave reviews.

I now have 2 more rave reviews from friends and one reading it so I will say that’s next up.

 I got the Betty White Auto Biography for my birthday and I’m pretty excited about that too :):)

The maybe Water For Elephants.

And finally the book I can’t seem to finish. EVER!!

Eat Prey Love.

I have been reading this off and on since before the movie was in the theatre.

It’s a good story I just want it to move more… Make sence??

 

OK Comment time. like my book choices? have any of your own??

Tell me!!

make sure your subscribe so you can see everyone’s book reviews and LETS GET READING!